TWIST YOUR TONGUE

Think your pronunciation is good?  Try keeping up with this old favourite.
  Click on the old fashioned record player!

In case you need to read it:

TONGUE       TWISTERS                     DANNY KAYE

Everybody’s heard of Peter Piper         And the peck of pickled peppers that he picked That’s such a silly simple children’s game    It hasn’t even got a name But I’d like to bet that it’ll trip you And I bet you’re gonna have to say you’re licked If Peter Piper you pronounce with ease       Then twist your tongue around these

Moses supposes his toeses are roses            But Moses supposes erroneously For Moses he knowses his toeses aren’t roses
As Moses supposes his toeses to be
                That’s tongue twisters
                And it seems so easy till the word gets sprung
                If you insist you want to try a lisp
                Then step up mister and twist your tongue Now Kissle will whistle at busty Miss. Russell Who’ll rustle and bustle till Kissle will roar So Russell asked Axle for Kissle’s dismissal And this’ll teach Kissle to whistle no more
                       That’s tongue twisters . . . Tito and Tato were tattooed in total But Toto was only tattooed on his toe So Tato told Tito where Toto was tattooed But Tito said Toto’s tattoo wouldn’t show Theda thought Thora was thumping her thimble But Thomas thought Thora was thumping her drum Said Theda if Thora’s not thumping her thimble I think that she surely is thumping her thumb
                       That’s tongue twisters . .     Now Charley is chary when choosing his cheeses And cheese is a challenge when Charley arrives When Charley is charming and chooses a cheddar Then chews it and chips it and chops in some chives Heda is hoping to hop to Tahiti To hack a hibiscus to hang on her hat Now Heda has hundreds of hats on her hatrack So how can a hop to Tahiti help that Snobby Miss. Nora is sniffing her snuffer The snuffer’s no sniffing it makes Nora sneeze When Snyda lets Nort know his Nora is sneezing She snappily snorts Nora’s sneezing a breeze Sheila is selling her shop at the seashore For shops at the seashore are so sure to lose And she’s not so sure of what she should be selling Should Sheila sell seashells or should she sell shoes
                       That’s tongue twisters

ENGLISH IS EASY

You think English is easy?

1) The bandage was wound around the wound. 

2) The farm was used to produce produce .

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was

time to present the present .

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object. 

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid. 

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row .

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow..

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in

eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in

pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or

French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while

sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English

 for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that

quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a

guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a

vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be

committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what

language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that

run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while

a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to

marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your

house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in

a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by

going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it

reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is 

not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they

are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick' ?

You lovers of the English language might enjoy this .

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings

than any other two-letter word, and that is 'UP.' 
It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the

sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the

morning, why do we wake UP ?

At a meeting, why does a topic come UP ?

Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for

election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP 

a report ? 

We call UP our friends.

And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the

silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen.

We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.

At other times the little word has real special meaning.

People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an

appetite, and think UP excuses.

To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.  

A drain must be opened UP because it is blocked UP.

We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP 

at night.
We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP !

To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look

the word UP in the dictionary.

In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of

the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.

If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of

the many ways UP is used.

It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give

UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.

When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP .

When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP...
When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.
When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP.
One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, 

for now my time is UP, so........it is time to shut UP! 

HOLIDAYS

Isn't it true- we often get an assignment to write or tell about our most recent holiday, or vacation. Or our dream holiday.
Want some ideas?

Check out this crazy video by a slightly crazy man about his holidays.
Interesting, but remember he is telling the story "Tongue in cheek"

Click on the picture to learn about his vacation.

DIRECTIONS

Do you get confused by directions?

Try out this great GAME about directions- It really is very good.

You will also be asked to buy some special things at the supermatket- Give your brain a workiut.

FUTURE TENSE

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raymondconnors@gmail.com
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You can opt out at any time, and I never share your details with anyone else.

 TENSES

Do you have trouble working out tenses?

Click on this picture of hard-working high school students who have a bright future, to be taken to a set of great fact sheets on TENSES

And here is a great GAME to test your knowledge of TENSES in a fun way:

Click on the picture:

Other links you will see there take you to more quizzes and exercises on tenses- enough to keep you busy for a long time.

HAVE FUN!

CAN YOU DESCRIBE THEM?

You will need some very good ADJECTIVES

If you want to try out your knowledge of ADJECTIVES, click on the picture of the tall, slim, beautiful, Vietnamese women to go to a great quiz on ADJECTIVES.

Do you fancy yourself as a Newspaper Editor?
To see how good you are at using ADJECTIVES as a newspaper editor, Click on the picture of the two ladies on the beach to be taken to a game where you can try out your skills.

More grammar lessons in postings to follow soon.